Sexual Pleasure & Satisfaction For Women

Sex has an interesting history in our culture.

Unfortunately it’s still being played out today: a little foreplay, a little lubrication, man enters woman, man orgasms, man withdraws, rolls over and goes to sleep.

Now why would any man be so selfish? Is it because he’s ignorant of what feels good for a woman? Or is it because he just can’t be bothered to think about her needs? Or is it that he just doesn’t know a woman has needs?

There are probably just as many explanations as there are sexually unsatisfied couples in the world.

But one possibility is that what we can call “wham bam, thank you ma’am” men are simply uncomfortable with intimacy and connection and deep feelings.

But whatever the explanation, why are women are still putting up with this situation? Whatever the reason, it’s about time that ended. You’ve all heard the joke, no doubt: “What do women do after sex?” Answer: 5% fall asleep, 5% take a shower, 5% read a romantic novel, and 85% go and get their vibrators.

Why would women put up with sex as simply something that was “done to them”? If you happen to be a man reading this, consider for a moment if you’re using a woman as a passive instrument for your sexual pleasure.

Even worse, are you actually having fantasies about being with another woman or indeed with anybody other than the person you’re with, while making love to your partner? (If you are, get some advice about pleasuring her here.)

We don’t know how many couples are living with sex life like this – which is to say, a sex life designed purely for male satisfaction – but it’s probably fair to assume that it’s a significant proportion.

The patriarchy is so deeply embedded in our culture that this is not surprising. In most societies, for centuries, men have seen women merely as objects or possessions, useful for the domestic chores, sexual pleasure, and providing an heir.

No wonder it’s taken so long in our culture for things to change. Really, it’s only since the feminist activists in the post-Victorian period began to think of women’s pleasure that there has been an awareness that women require sexual pleasure too!

woman and man making love

Women require sexual pleasure as much as men – and why wouldn’t they?

And even masturbation was to boo, the Catholic Church in particular regarding it as a mortal sin alongside masturbation rape and murder.

No wonder that our society is now so obsessed with sex when it was so obsessed with the absence of sex for so long!

So the question for the moment is whether it is possible for women to really have equal satisfaction in bed. Are they still so sexually disempowered that it’s impossible for them to get sexual pleasure in the way they would like?

You see, sexual equality – at least in terms of orgasmic pleasure – is not brought about by simply wanting this equality to happen. For one thing, making love in a way that satisfies both man and woman is not so easy.

There are built-in barriers to feminine pleasure. One, in the fact that while the man’s orgasm is virtually guaranteed (except in cases of delayed ejaculation), a woman’s orgasm is far from certain. Her clitoris receives little stimulation during intercourse, for one thing.

Another reason is that the very act of talking about sex requires a high level of emotional intelligence and sensitivity. Most people are not comfortable enough with their sexuality to talk about it openly and frankly. Moreover, women often can’t communicate their sexual needs. This is because they’ve been brought up to expect men to be in charge of their sexuality.

And so women continue to put up with unsatisfying sex, even though there are plenty of places willing to provide sexual training (such as tantric massage techniques), information, and support. Any couple that wishes to establish a more equal sexual relationship can do it, but it requires commitment.

Before we go any further, of course we should also mention the fact the premature ejaculation is a major factor in sexual inequality. We don’t know exactly how many women could reach orgasm during intercourse if men didn’t ejaculate so quickly, but it’s likely to be a significant number.

This isn’t a matter of applying blame to men for unsatisfying intercourse. We’ve all grown up with a culture in which these things are expected, and perhaps even acceptable.

Tasteful picture of man and woman making love.

Men come far too quickly for most women to get sexual pleasure.

So in truth, “standard” penis-in-vagina intercourse is never going to provide women with enough orgasms to satisfy them completely, let alone narrow the orgasm gap between men and women.

Of course some women don’t have a problem demanding their rights in bed. They know what they want and they ask for it. But even this doesn’t mean that she’s going to be heard by her male partner.

The accepted sexual script which we almost all indulge in – that of limited foreplay, male penetration and ejaculation followed by his satisfaction and her frustration – has been kept alive from generation to generation. This is because it fits with the biological imperative in men to ejaculate quickly and the female difficulty in reaching orgasm.

And there are a few other problems which also underlie sexual inequality.

For one thing men believe that what feels good for them must also feel good for their partner.

And of course there isn’t much reason why men, who as far as I’m aware don’t possess a vagina, should know what it actually feels like to be penetrated. It’s a belief that seems stubborn and resistant to change: that a man can satisfy woman by thrusting into her vagina.

This gets reinforced because in an early sexual relationship, most men ejaculate quickly. However, the women these men ejaculate into don’t speak up about how they want things to be because they too are ignorant about their sexual needs and expectations, and the possibilities open to them.

And so in a way right from the start, men are trained to expect that sex will consist of male penetration and orgasm, and very little else.

Even leaving aside all cultural issues such as the economic power of women to live independently of men, it’s fair to say that most couples are stuck in a dynamic that is not helpful. So what are we going to do about this?

Well, we’re not going to fake orgasm, which is one of the ways that women apparently soothe their men. Of course, men may have such fragile egos that they couldn’t possibly be told that they’re not satisfying their women!

Joking aside, sadly modern women do have a pressure on them to express sexual pleasure, otherwise they might be thought of as “frigid”.

And in this situation, it’s even more likely that a woman is going to accept the inadequate sex which men are foisting upon her without complaint. That’s because she may well see her failure to reach orgasm as being due to something inadequate or wrong with her.

As you can see from the above comments, it’s a bit of a muddle for all of us, but women are the ones who really miss out on sexual pleasure. So what I’m saying is that men have a responsibility to learn how to make love better.

The website I linked to above is one of the ones where there is useful information that can actually be applied in a practical way. This will help a couple bring the relationship between male orgasm and female orgasm more into equality.

Now, it takes courage for a woman to admit that she’s been faking orgasms for a while, because it exposes the possibility that she might have been telling other lies about her level of satisfaction with the relationship.

woman pretending to have an orgasm

Women – stop faking orgasms right now!

And yet there’s a simple motto that says actually “honesty is the best policy” – and that’s no different in sexual relationships to any other area of human life.

My advice to all men reading this is to find a way of pleasuring a woman that gives you satisfaction. You also need  and to accept that whatever’s happened in the past is over and done with (faking orgasms included).

Start afresh, look forward, and enjoy finding out how you and your partner can work together to produce a happy and satisfying sex life that will give both of you the greatest pleasure.

Of course it possible to enjoy making love without having an orgasm – and that’s true for both men and women.

But, yes, particularly true for women, who might value the feeling of closeness that intercourse gives them, and who may well be satisfied to have this dimension alone in their sexual relationship.

And that doesn’t alter the fact that at the end of the day, it’s necessary for a couple to experience sexual pleasure in its fullest form for their relationship to reach its maximum potential.

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Creating Your Reality

Manifestation and the law of attraction is the vogue of our era – as defined by popular searches on Google.

And of course it makes perfect sense with the culture in which we live, where so many want to get everything instantly, and in which many people want to get something for nothing. But is that a fair view of manifestation?

Well it’s an interesting question, but it deserves serious consideration, because it doesn’t seem intuitively likely that the universe is programmed to give us “something for nothing”.

Indeed, this idea goes against everything that we’ve ever been taught from birth onwards – you have to work hard for what you get, that the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, and that virtue is its own reward.

Yet could it be that the universe is really predisposed to give us what we want? Could it be that actually whatever we want is there for the asking, if only we are bold enough to step forward and demand it?

In my opinion the answer to both these questions is a very definite “yes”.

Imagine the creativity of the universe – which has produced not just billions upon billions upon billions of planets, but millions and millions of species on Earth, all interacting in a balanced ecosystem. Imagine the power of the human mind, with its trillions of nerve cells. Does it seem likely to you that these things are part of one great hole?

Indeed, it’s ridiculous to suggest that we are not all part of one greater whole, and if that’s true, then the next logical step in the chain of reasoning is simply that we are all connected.

And of course if we are all connected, then is not probable that we actually have the power to manipulate the form in which reality manifests?

Video – We are all connected

And in that presumption, rests the idea of visualization for manifestation.

Visualization allows us to connect with our subconscious mind, and the subconscious mind is our gateway to the universal intelligence – also known as the cosmic consciousness, aka God by some people. You see, we are afraid of grabbing our greatness, claiming our inheritance as creatures of the universe, as elements of the divine, and acting upon that state of being.

The difficulty comes for most people when they find they don’t know how to act upon their divine quality, their divine nature, and indeed fail to manifest those aspects of themselves that could be regarded as creators of form.

Are you, let me ask you, in connection with universal intelligence and the universal design behind everything?

No. And of course in a way that makes complete sense too, because we’re not actually programmed from birth to thinking this way – i.e. that we are divine beings, that we live very much with our feet on the ground, and still have the ability to regain a way of connecting with the universal energy from where we emerged.

Using Law Of Attraction For Manifestation

You will all have seen different accounts of manifestation and how we can manifest reality, of how we can get what we want.

The simplest way is to follow the instructions of an expert who has studied this for years, and knows something about it. One of those experts is Mike Dooley, who is a man who is more reliable on the subject of law of attraction and manifestation than just about any other author writing today.

I’ve recently attended his one-day course on manifesting change called Leveraging The Universe, and I found it excellent. His explanation of how manifestation can take place is outstandingly clear, simple and intuitively correct – what he says resonates with the deepest level of your unconscious.

What Mike is saying is that because we are all part of the divine elements of the universe, our ability to connect with universe is unlimited, and when we fail to get what we want it’s because we’re not connecting the right way.

It’s a simple proposition he puts forward: that if you specify every minute detail of what you want, then you cannot expect to get it because the universe is restricted in its ability to deliver it to you. In other words, instead of all creation being available to you – much less is available. The chances of manifesting your desires and attracting your reality are lower.

On the other hand, if you think in the broadest possible terms, of an outcome such as happiness or abundance or prosperity or a great relationship or self-fulfilment, then you are giving the universe an infinite number of ways in which it can actually manifest whatever you want.

Keep in mind that all of creation is available to you. Attracting your reality is not difficult, and it depends on you using the correct techniques in the right way.

Most people who are discouraged by early failures in their attempts to manifest reality give up and never return to the subject, and may even become cynics and refuse to admit the reality of this process.

But just think about this for a minute – whatever you want is available to you if you have the knowledge and techniques at your fingertips, and if you have, then you can create reality in a way that makes life utterly under your control, and delivers into your own hands the path of your own life. Now isn’t that a prize worth having?

So what exactly then is it that Mike Dooley is suggesting we should all do in order to manifest reality more easily?

First and foremost what he’s suggesting is that we should all visualize the broader picture.

If example you’re looking for prosperity and abundance, then that’s exactly what you should aim to manifest by picturing prosperity and abundance in whatever form that takes for you.

But at the same time what he’s making very clear is that it is pointless to become attached to the details  – you need to be attached to the outcome, and use the details only to make the picture more real for yourself.

This is quite a contrast to the instructions given by most people which insist on minutely detailed visualizations covering every aspect of what you want. It’s certainly a very different approach, and a lot of people have trouble reconciling these two such different approaches to the same subject.

Mike Dooley makes the point that if you use the detailed visualization model then occasionally you will be successful – but only occasionally, and it could well be that this accounts for the massive failure rate of people who have been taught conventional ideas about manifestation and the law of attraction.

I don’t actually have any statistics on the success rate of people who have tried Mike Dooley’s broad-brush approach to manifestation, although I do intuitively suspect that it’s much higher and probably more successful than the minutely detailed approach.

Mike offers a number of courses which I highly recommend, because they come with great tuition, full support, useful information and a lot of laughs, and probably an inspirational aspect which you won’t get with others who hold a more serious approach to manifestation.

One of things I love about Dooley’s approach is that he makes everything so light-hearted and fun – surely that’s exactly how living our life should be, and surely that’s exactly how our creator intended life to be for us?

You see nobody expects to go through life suffering, and nobody expects to go through life failing to get what they want – but it seems that’s the outcome of existence for many of us! And why woudl it not be if we don’t take control of our lives, by finding a reliable teacher on manifestation, and following the instructions he or she offers?

Another expert I’d recommend you all is Steve Pavlina, who’s written an extensive blog on the subject, and indeed his knowledge of esoteric subjects seems second to none.

Steve’s approach to manifestation is more in the Mike Dooley camp that anything else – perhaps best summed up as “make your demands of the universe, let them go, release them into the universe, and allow the universe to give you what you want” – while you wait in a state of total belief and expectancy.

And of course all the authors on manifestation do have one thing in common, which is their emphasis on the need to propel your desires out into the universe with emotional energy. Unless you put some energy into the process of getting what you want, you’re not likely to succeed!

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Manifestation and Law Of Attraction

One of the most fascinating things to come out of the world of esoteric studies in recent years has been the revelations around manifestation.

What manifestation means is:

The ability to get what you want with the power of your mind

Most women would find this much more attractive, yes?

How attractive would most women find this?

Now, you may find it extraordinary that we should propose the idea that it’s possible to affect physical reality in the world with the power of your mind.

Yet throughout history, there’s been a certain category of individual who has known about the power of the mind to influence the physical form in which creation comes into being.

In other words, our proposition is that by sending out energetic thoughts to the universe — and I say “energetic” advisedly, because it is the energy of the thought process which motivates manifestation — it is possible for us to influence what we get, either spiritually or materially, in the world around us.

This may seem like a radical proposition, in a world based on rational thought and scientific proof or dogma, but the truth of the matter is that if you read material as far back as Napoleon Hill, you’re going to find that manifestation and the Law Of Attraction – and the laws governing this – have been in the consciousness of the human race for many generations.

law of attraction

The essence of the law of attraction is cretaivity

Indeed, those who are experts at manifestation would no doubt hold to the view that if you were not taking advantage of what seems to be an innate human ability, then you are depriving yourself of opportunity to improve the quality of your life.

To that end, therefore, let’s examine how manifestation could play role in improving the quality of your life — just as it can improve the quality of anyone else’s.

To start with, if you’re in a relationship, you’re probably experiencing the usual conflicts and disagreements which relationships generate. This is inevitable, because we all bring to a relationship, whether sexual or any other kind of relationship, a quality of energy which depends on our own emotional history and — to put it another way — the emotional wounds we experienced during childhood.

So this means that whenever any of our emotional wounds are triggered, for they hold potency, unless they are healed, for the rest of our lives, we will respond to a partner or friend or family member, or indeed our employees or bosses, or anyone else, in the way that we could not respond as a child. This is the emotional energy which is repressed yet still seeks an outlet. You may well imagine that this is usually highly emotional, often highly inappropriate to the situation we find ourselves in as an adult!

So,  the interesting thing to me is that one of the techniques used for healing emotional wounds — what people tend to call “emotional baggage” — is very similar to the technique used for manifesting reality around us in the world today…. interesting, eh?

This is the technique of visualization, of selecting an objective, and then “programming” the mind to achieve it, to manifest it, to bring it into being,  by  actively focusing your energy on a vivid picture of the desired objective every day. Creative visualization, that’s what it’s called.

Change your life by getting creative!

Change your life by getting creative!

You see, the point of this is that the subconscious mind is unable to distinguish between reality and fantasy — so that an image which is presented to it with sufficient energy and vividness, will always appear to the subconscious mind to be a reality that is being fed into it by the senses of the individual concerned.

What this means is that because the subconscious takes the evidence of the senses as being the true interpretation of the way the world functions, if you do the visualization exercises of manifestation sufficiently clearly and strongly, and you also incorporate emotional energy, what you’re visualizing is guaranteed to manifest as a reality in your life!

This means that if you’re looking to create a better sex life, or indeed just a better relationship in general, with more harmony with your partner, then using the Law of Attraction processes and exercises generally spoken of in the context of manifestation is going to make a significant difference to the quality of your spiritual and emotional life with your partner.

What this means in turn is that anything else intangible that you would like to change, including the quality of your relationship — for example, the level of joy and pleasure that you get from sexual intercourse, or the joy and pleasure that you get from communicating with your partner — can be easily changed by your use of these mental techniques.

This allows you to improve the quality of your sex life, improve the quality of your relationships, and improve the quality of your life in general beyond anything that you could previously have imagined to be possible.

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Manifestation and the art of sexual relationship

For men and women who want to improve the quality of their relationships there are certain specific and obvious techniques that they can try.

The first of those is to use different sex positions to the ones which they have been accustomed to normally use.

If you’re interested in using new sex positions, here are some suggestions about videos that you might find helpful.

Best sex positions for a small penis – Jeremy Brown

Best sex positions for men with a small penis

Jenny Smith

Best sex positions

Jenny Smith

Most exciting sex positions

 

Now I really hope that those videos help to improve the quality of your sex life, but as we all know there’s more about the practical aspects of making love that need to be learned with another person and there are to be learned from watching the video.

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Capture his heart and make him love you forever review

One of the great things about the Internet is the fact that it makes dating advice and information easy to obtain. I think this is actually really important for a great deal of people, who might be embarrassed or ashamed about admitting their lack of experience in this area, and we would certainly never go to a relationship counsellor for advice.

Rather than sitting around at home, feeling embarrassed, lonely and shy, people can go online, look at a few websites, and pick up helpful tips and information about how to date, how to approach the opposite sex, what the opposite sex might expect in a relationship, and all kinds of other useful information and advice that is bound to make it easier to form and maintain a relationship.

Now I know that some people object to the idea that you can learn about relationships from reading websites, but the fact of the matter is that there are a lot of people who need help and information on dating advice dating tips and dating techniques that they would not otherwise be able to get and must they actually looked at this kind of information online.

So, you could tell our a supporter of relationship and dating websites, because I think — no, I know — they provide a hugely useful service to all kinds of people, and I’ve actually know personally a great many people who manage to find relationships through searching online for potential partners. If you take this a stage further back, their website can also be an extremely useful way of informing people about how to meet members of the opposite sex.

Capture his heart and make him love you forever is one of the foremost programs in this area for women.

Capture his heart and make him love you forever is actually about how a woman can approach a man, his interest, make him fall in love with her, and then go on to build a relationship that is worthwhile and going to last for a long time… maybe a lifetime.

My own Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever review can be found here, and I think you’ll find it interesting: it’s not an unbiased recommendation of the product, it’s simply a description of what’s in it. This will allow you to make your own mind whether or not you think that it contains useful dating tips for women.

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