You can find out how you can love a man easily and simply by reading all sorts of advice on the Internet – but is this advice any good?
Not usually, no. So you’ll be glad to know that we too have joined in the fun by writing our own discerning blog on how it’s possible to develop love, in other words, to put it bluntly, how you can make a man love you.
Now of course the thing is this – you might find that when you’re in love, your feelings are not reciprocated, and that’s always a risk – but on the other hand, it’s also a fact that you can induce loving feelings by behaving in a certain way towards another individual. In this case the man of your dreams!
Of course high on the list here is kindness, appreciation, mutual satisfaction and pleasure, spending time together, finding that you have similar views and interests about the important things in life… and so on.
We all know these things, but the issue isn’t really about these.
Here were talking about whether or not it’s possible to make somebody love you by behaving in a certain way towards them.
There have been many books and publications over the years – thinking of something like The Rules here – which have been designed to help women make men fall in love with them, and they all seem to be based on the principle that a woman has manipulative skills and abilities which will make a man fall in love with her if she wants to set her mind to that end!
However basing a relationship on deceit and dishonesty is likely to lead to unhappiness and disaster in the long term.
It might better to be honest and open, to say exactly what you want, to go out and get it using simple relationship skills and techniques which are going to give you love, connection, and in the end will probably be much more useful in building an open and honest relationship than deceitful manipulation and feminine “wiles”.
How To Make A Man Love You
So what are the arts of building a relationship?
First, you need to do is establish open and honest communication – to talk honestly and openly to somebody you need to open your heart to them, and it’s not something we tend to do very much in our society.
We’ve all been too wounded by miscommunication and deliberate attacks from others.
Next you need to develop trust, and to do that you need to know somebody intimately, so the first thing to do is spend time together and get to know the man you want to make fall in love with you. Find out here how to do that. This basically means you have to find some way of spending time together, and one of the best ways of doing this is to find a shared interest where you can invite him to join you. That way you get to see him and have him spend time with you.
Over a period of time you’re going to build up a friendship which is going to help you establish trust and make you feel much closer and more connected.
And at this point you can begin to open up your heart and show your feelings. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you tell him you love him straight away, although there will undoubtedly be a point where that’s necessary – what it might mean is that you simply start by saying how you’re feeling about certain aspects of your life.
By sharing a deeply heartfelt connection, it is possible to make a man fall in love with you, simply because he recognises the honesty and truth in what you’re saying commonly recognises that it’s coming from a vulnerable and heart open space.
Don’t underestimate the power of communication in establishing a relationship.
Relationships are based on trust and intimacy. Intimacy comes from the open-hearted communication I’ve just been talking about.
So if you manage to establish trust and intimacy, then you’re a long way towards establishing a good relationship which is going to keep you in a man’s thoughts.
Next, of course, you have to move from intimacy and trust to love.
And there is the fascinating question of what love actually is, and why we feel it towards another human being. One of the interesting things about this, of course, is that love is based on projection – seeing in others those parts of ourselves that we don’t wish to admit.
Read about projection here, because you will find it absolutely fascinating. As someone once said to me, if you find yourself hugely, powerfully attracted to another person, then you really need to run in the opposite direction, because the connection is probably an unhealthy one.
So if you’re not projecting or experiencing transference, then you’re likely to find somebody who’s quite similar to you in attitude and outlook.
Although there is an old saying that “opposites attract”, we now know that the truth is quite the opposite. It is being similar that makes us fall in love with someone because we see in them parts of ourselves that we can identify with.
When you have found somebody you like, somebody that you trust, someone to build intimacy with, the next stage in moving towards love is to experience deeper closeness and connection.
This is really again a matter of opening your heart spending time together. Of course there will be a point where the relationship wants to move into the sexual phase, and it’s here that things can become difficult.
For a woman, sexuality is a tender and delicate aspect of her being, while for a man it is often just a means to physical release. This is not to say that men don’t value sex when they’re in a loving relationship, because they do, and in fact the truth is that men often find they can open their hearts through sexual connection.
That old cliché about women wanting to have sex because they’re in love, and men finding love because they’re having sex is absolutely true.
So how you can make your sexual relationship, when it develops, into a satisfying and happy thing? Not something stressful and difficult?
The answer to that is that you need to learn some techniques for pleasing a man, and your man equally needs to learn techniques for pleasuring you.
These are areas of incredible importance, and it’s necessary that he knows how you can be pleasured, in other words how you can have an orgasm.
Equally, it’s important that you know how to pleasure a man… and more than anything, you need to develop a reciprocal relationship where both of you are experiencing great sex , obtaining sexual pleasure, and getting mutual satisfaction by enjoying good orgasms when you are being sexually intimate.
All this said, and personal individual needs taken account of, your relationship should last a long time and provide you with the greatest pleasure that it’s possible for a human being to experience – I wish you well!