If you’re a guy who isn’t satisfied with the way things are in bed right now, and you’re looking for something to make sex juicier, more passionate, and above all longer lasting, then sex therapist Lloyd Lester’s program Ejaculation by Command is your dream come true. I’m going to tell you why and how it works.
After more than a decade working with men to help them overcome their sexual difficulties, I know that the most common, troublesome, and even devastating problem that men experience during sex is coming too soon, with no control, and feeling they just can’t change things.
As you know, you want to enjoy sex, you want to give your partner a good time in bed – and all you do is ejaculate uncontrollably after a few minutes of sexual intercourse. It’s so embarrassing! And for men who have a thing about pleasing women, it can feel extremely shameful to shoot so soon…..
Cure premature ejaculation!
Well, first of all, stop thinking about it as “premature ejaculation”. That corny phrase helps no-one…. and what’s more, it labels the man as an inadequate or substandard sexual partner. Who the heck wants that kind of notion tied to their sexual reputation? Consider it this way instead: if the maximum amount of time you can last before you – ahem – “release” (as the happy-ending-massage-therapists describe it) then it’s probably going to make sex better, and enhance your relationship, if you take the time and trouble to learn a few simple techniques that let you enjoy intercourse for longer before you finally surrender to the pleasure of your orgasm.
What’s that about enhancing your relationship, I hear you ask? Well now, did you ever stop to find out how your partner actually feels about you coming so quickly? And even if you did, do you believe her… when she tells you “Darling, it doesn’t matter”? No, really?
The fact is, it matters a lot, and for many women, being able to make love for as long as it takes to “pleasure” her (or satisfy her) is a sign of your love. By the way, “satisfying a woman” is a euphemism for bringing her to orgasm during intercourse – something that can only happen when you have enough staying power and she’s really turned on, and which all women adore, if they enjoy sex at all).
And what’s even more to your credit is the fact that you’re taking the trouble to learn how to delay your ejaculation and overcome this damned problem. In her mind, it shows you care about her…. which of course you do. Don’t you?
So – here’s the thing. This short post provides some powerful, simple and yet extremely effective tips, all of which have the power to help you last longer in bed.
Sidebar: Video From Laci Green
But before we go there, let me ask you: how does ejaculating prematurely make you feel? Good? A successful lover? Manly? Uh…. no. And as for her?
Well, I’m sure you know that most women enjoy sexual intercourse in large part because they feel emotionally connected to their partner. So if sex lasts for 2 minutes, she doesn’t have much time to feel connected to you, now does she?
So, sadly, the typical session of sexual intercourse lasts considerably less than 3 minutes, and that just isn’t long enough. Increasing this time, and lasting longer during intercourse, will always improve your self-esteem, your sense of pride in being a man, and the quality of your intimate relationship.
And the juicy part of all this is that when a man – that’s you, my friend – makes the effort to improve his “staying power”, his ability to control when he ejaculates, his partner will always feel a lot more desirable (and cherished, the thing women want more than anything) – and then she’ll be a lot more interested in sex. So how’s this going to happen?
First, be serious about your intention. Stopping PE can be – no pun intended – hard if you get carried away when you’re in bed, naked, and feeling some skin on skin, with the excitement mounting…… yes, sadly, all of the good intentions you had about learning how to delay ejaculation can easily be forgotten.
But then of course, you come down to earth with a bump, as you offload uncontrollably, and your self-esteem takes another knock. So decide once and for all that you are absolutely, 100%, right now, going to STOP premature ejaculation.
Second, learn how to relax when you make love. Of course, having sex is juicy, wet, and warm – or at least it ought to be – and you generate a lot of heat and tension, both emotional and muscular, on the way to orgasm.
But as a man, muscular tension and that other sign of high arousal – short, shallow breaths – actually make you pop more quickly than anyone really wants. So choose your positions wisely – no supporting yourself on your trembling arms during man on top sex – and relax, relax, relax.
Fortunately, you can do that by breathing slowly and deeply, even when things are starting to run away with you: click here to get the facts that can change your sex life for ever.
Yes, you really can stay relaxed and breath deeply and slowly… or at least you can choose to do that… even when you’re turned on, with your face in her pussy, or your hard penis inside her warm wetness, or whatever. You just have to remember…. breath slowly and deeply. Slowly and deeply.
Third, keep your focus on you and her. Don’t think of baseball, taxes or god-knows-what. That stuff doesn’t work. Instead, be aware of every nuance of what’s happening between you. Keep half an eye on how aroused you are. Focus on the sensations you’re feeling. That way, when you sense that you’re getting more tense, you can do something about it.
When you notice you’re getting near the point of ejaculatory inevitability – ha – that’s the point of no return to you and me – take time to slow down, and consciously relax all your muscles. Stop moving if you have to. Rest, cool off. Have a little chat. But don’t forget to keep stimulating her clitoris so she stays juicy and wet (in other words, so her arousal doesn’t drop).
Because so many men are so out of touch with their bodies, they are totally unaware of how close they are to the point of ejaculation as they make love (which translates as “Oh shit, not again!” or “I’m going to come!”). If you have a good sense of how aroused you are, you can ease up on the rhythm of sex or simply lie still until your arousal has fallen, fallen, fallen …… and there’s no danger of you spurting….. yet.
You can always practice during masturbation – lube up and set out to bring yourself near to ejaculation, without actually coming…. then, aware of how you feel, how aroused you are, how near ejaculation you might be, stop stimulating yourself. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Finally, come.
When done properly, this enjoyable, simple technique is both pleasurable and easy….. as a technique for extending sex. You can quickly develop the restraint to stimulate yourself for up to half an hour without having an orgasm. Transfer this to sex with your partner, and lo and behold! before you know it, you’ll have the skill to last much longer in bed.
And another trick – try vaginal acclimatization. Courtesy of Michael Metz, this one. You simply rest without moving inside your partner. Or at least, move only as much as you need so as to keep your erection. That’s not much. Hold in your ejaculation. Keep squeezing your PC muscle. That will reduce your arousal.
After anything between seven and thirty minutes you’ll sense a change in how you, or your cock, feels. It’s a dull sort of warmth around your penis. You’ll know when it happens, and what it means is that you have acclimated to the arousing stimulus of being inside your partner. So now, simply having your penis inside her doesn’t have the power to excite you so much that you’re going to come quickly.